7th Birthday

I vividly remember the day you were born. It happened so quickly and I was so scared. It’s hard to believe it’s been seven years since our world got flipped upside down. You had a flare for the dramatics since the beginning. You couldn’t just enter this world with a typical delivery. You needed a quicker entrance that required the dr coming up to the hospital (very quickly!) late at night. It was less than an hour from the time they called the dr to tell him you were struggling, until you made your grand entrance. You also had no interest in just being snuggled right away, you wanted to make sure you had everyone’s attention, especially daddy’s. He even left me in recovery to follow you. The moment you came out our lives revolved around you. Nothing else seemed to matter!

I couldn’t imagine that day how much you would change my life. I knew having a baby had that affect but I had no idea what lie ahead for us. Everything I thought our lives would be like with you quickly vanished. I wasn’t even sure you’d make it home. I’m so thankful the doctors were wrong! I’m thankful that God knew his plan for you from the beginning. He gave you 26 months when the doctors gave you one. His plans are always much better than ours!

I often wonder what you’d be like now. Would you still have that crazy curly hair? Would you be running around or rolling around the house? What would you think about these crazy brothers of yours? All the what ifs and thinking about how life might be are hard to escape. I don’t want to dwell on what isn’t and as much as I miss you I don’t wish you were back in this broken world (don’t worry, it was a hard realization to come to and does NOT mean that I don’t miss you or want to hold and love on you). I do wonder if birthday parties are a thing in heaven or maybe the day you got to go to heaven is what’s celebrated instead.

Whether you’re celebrating your birthday or waiting until May to celebrate the day you joined Jesus, we are celebrating you! We will be eating the usual pregnancy craving I had while I was pregnant with you (Cane’s chicken), making birthday cupcakes (your brother’s request), and I’ll try to convince your brothers to watch your favorite movie (Finding Dory) and shows (Maya the Bee and Masha and Bear), as well as watch videos and look at pics of you.

You are so loved and missed more than you could ever know, baby girl. “I love you so much but Jesus loves you even more.” Happy 7th birthday my silly Addalyn Grace. I pray Jesus gives you a hug and kiss for mommy and that you dance the day away!